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What should you do if you are being financially abused?

Abusers use these economic tactics to gain power and control over victims by repeatedly dictating their choices and controlling their everyday actions – and even becoming violent or threatening, if demands are refused.

This kind of abuse can happen in any intimate relationship, especially as a part of domestic violence.

HOW TO IDENTIFY AN ECONOMIC ABUSER

An abuser seeks to: control how you acquire money and economic resources by

• preventing you from receiving an education.
• preventing you from going to work.
• restricting your hours of work.
• preventing you from seeking employment.
• taking your earnings.
• preventing you from claiming benefits.
• forbidding you access to a bank account.

Limit how you use money by

• deciding when and how you spend money.
• dictating what you can buy.
• making you ask for money or providing an allowance.
• limiting your use of property, such as a phone or car.
• putting all economic assets (e.g. savings, house) are in their name.
• hiding financial information.

Sabotage your ability to maintain economic resources by

• stealing your money or property.
• damaging your property.
• refusing to help pay household costs.
• using money needed for household items and bills.
• putting all bills, credit cards and loans in your name.
• making you pay all bills, credit cards and loans.
• building up debt in your name, sometimes without their knowledge.
• forcing you to shoplift, lie on tax returns, credit applications or to law enforcement, or commit fraud.

Financial Safety Planning

Step One: Evaluate your personal confidence level regarding finances.

First, work on understanding how your experience of dealing with financial abuse makes you feel about your ability to manage finances. You might not feel confident in your ability to manage your money. However, understand that your abuser probably wanted you to feel this way so that he could maintain his power and control over you and your finances. With education, assistance and support you can become a successful money manager and work toward setting and achieving your own financial goals.

Financial safety planning is critical whether or not you choose to leave an abusive relationship. Although there is no perfect way to ensure your safety, you can take steps to decrease the chances of your abuser harming you or your family.

 

Step Two: Gain information about your assets and liabilities.

It is a common strategy for an abusive partner to hide assets and information about bank accounts and debts. Consider safe ways of doing some investigative work to find financial documents and make copies of these documents to hide in a safe place.

If possible, make photocopies of information about his income, such as any pay stubs, tax returns, company records and ledgers, bank accounts, investments, and RRSPs. Possible safe places include opening a safety deposit box to store documents for safe keeping without telling your partner or storing copies at a friend or family member’s house. It’s also important to have copies of other critical documents stored in a safe place, such as Social Insurance numbers (SIN) (for yourself, children and your partner), your marriage certificate, birth certificates and CareCard numbers, bank statements and credit card statements.

Documentation regarding joint property can also be very helpful, particularly if you decide to leave the relationship. Photographs can often be more helpful than extensive lists, so consider taking photographs of any joint property. Take pictures that help to confirm the property was at your residence by including children, family or friends in the photographs.

 

Step Three: Begin saving money immediately.

Another common control tactic used by abusers is to not allow the victim to have any money on their own. Consider finding a way to save some cash for yourself for emergencies or if you need to escape the relationship on short notice. This can be a challenge, but it is something many survivors have been able to accomplish by using all their resources.

One strategy is to save change from purchases and save it in a safe place or secret bank account. Another possibility is having raises or bonuses from work deposited directly into an account that your abusive partner is unaware of (make sure to have bank statements sent to a special PO Box or safe address). Be creative and utilize your strengths and resources to ensure cash flow for yourself and your children.

Also, consider taking at least half of the money in your joint checking and saving accounts immediately upon leaving. However, remember that abusers frequently increase in their efforts at power and control if the partner is leaving.

Many women survivors of violence who have had to flee their home report being surprised to discover their partner immediately drained any joint bank accounts. This tactic is a purposefully attempt to get women to return and can be a very powerful method of regaining control. Taking at least half of the money is a way of protecting yourself and ensuring that you have the means to take care of yourself and your children. If you are hesitant to do this, remember that you can always deposit it back. Taking care of yourself and any children is top priority.

 

Step Four: Seek financial independence, one step at a time.

Consider opening your own checking account and applying for a credit card. Having a personal checking account and one credit card in your name ensures that you have your own personal credit history. Also, remember to change the signature authority on any joint accounts so that both of you must sign for any transaction to occur.

 

These are only four basic steps to help prepare you to leave your abuser. Again, we highly recommended seeking the help of an advocate for additional guidance and instruction as you prepare for personal and financial independence. In addition to these four basic steps, as well as seeking help from an advocate, you may also want to consider filing for a protection order.

This is especially important if you have experienced threats or feel that you are in danger.

Safety Planning In addition to the strategies given above, there are other things to keep in mind while seeking independence from your abusive partner. New Housing Search Considerations If you leave, an abusive partner may use a credit report to find you. Large property-management firms tend to check credit histories through a credit bureau. Limiting your housing search to private property owners may help. They tend to work with the credit history you provide on your application.

Tips:

Contact your state or local domestic violence program, Visit Find Help Across Canada  Through them.

Workplace Safety

If it is safe, available and appropriate, consider the following:

• Provide your supervisor and company security with a copy of your protection order, if you have one.
• Provide your employer’s security and reception people with your partner’s photograph.
• Ask security to escort you to and from the parking lot or to public transportation.
• Screen your telephone calls.
• Consider changing your work schedule and travel patterns to and from work.
• Save threatening e-mails, voice mails, letters and gifts. If you choose to use the legal system,

this evidence will be helpful. If you have a protection order, document problems. This will help you prove that your partner or ex-partner is violating the order.

• Request your workspace be moved to a more secure area or to another site if possible.
• Get a donated cell phone from your local domestic violence shelter. This will provide you

with another way to contact help or emergency services, if needed. Staying safe is of top importance during this difficult time.

If you are a victim of economic abuse within the context of domestic abuse or are supporting someone who is in that situation, please visit the

1.  Assaulted Women’s Helpline. It provides anonymous and confidential crisis counseling as well as informational and emotional support to women.You can also call them at: Toll-free: 1-866-863-0511 Toll-free TTY: 1-866-863-7868
2. Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime (CRCVC) – Hundreds of programs exist to provide services and sanctuary to crime victims throughout Canada. They generally provide support and practical assistance.

Toll free –  1-877-232-2610  TEXT : 613-208-0747

If you want to join the weekly support group, please email info@test.ccfwe.org

They can help you move forward and gain financial independence. They can help put you in touch with resources in your area. To find out more about these coalitions, go to Find Help Across Canada